The Twelve Reenacting Days of Christmas

by Barbara Gavin

On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two corset covers
And a shelter tent beneath a tree.

On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three hardtack crackers, (Cheap jerk!)
Two corset covers,
And a shelter tent beneath a tree.

On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Four pounds of salt pork,
Three hardtack crackers
Two corset covers,
And a shelter tent beneath a tree. (A spreading chestnut, no doubt.)

On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Fiiiiive crotchless drawers (Hold that note, ladies and gentlemen!)
Four pounds of salt pork,
Three hardtack crackers,
Two corset covers,
And a shelter tent beneath a tree.

On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Six foraged hens, (Deep breath.)
Five crotchless drawers, (Hmmm... ulterior motives?)
Four pounds of salt pork,
Three hardtack crackers,
Two corset covers,
and a shelter tent beneath a tree. (Ugh, bird poop!)

(Whew!)
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Seven pairs of cotton stockings,
Six foraged hens, (Stolen goods - I get stolen goods for Christmas?)
Five crotchless drawers,
Four pounds of salt pork,
Three hardtack crackers,
Two corset covers,
And a shelter tent beneath a tree.

On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eight buglers bugling (Must be Butterworth's troops.)
Seven pairs of cotton stockings (Oh, darn, a run! Where's the nail polish?)
Six foraged hens,
Fiiiiiiiiive crotchless drawers, (I'm starting to get into this!)
Four pounds of salt pork
Three hard tack crackers,
Two corset covers (Note: no corset to cover yet...)
And a shelter tent beneath a tree.

On the Ninth day of Christmas (Aren't we done yet?!?)
My true love gave to me
Nine hoops a hooping (Two petticoats - a six and three, ladies.)
Eight buglers bugling,
Seven pairs of cotton stockings,
Six foraged hens,
Fiiiiiiiive crotchless drawers,
Four pounds of salt pork, (I'm getting fat.)
Three hardtack crackers,
Two corset covers,
And a shelter tent beneath a tree. (No farby brass grommets for me!)

On the Tenth day of Christmas (We're almost there!)
My true love gave to me
Ten Virginia reels a-reeling, (He'd have to be reeling!)
Nine hoops a-hooping,
Eight buglers bugling
Seven pairs of cotton stockings
Six foraged hens,
Fiiiiiiiive crotchless drawers,
Four pounds of salt pork,
Three hardtack crackers (Geez, is this tacky or what??)
Two corset covers,
And a shelter tent beneath a tree. (Great. More bird poop.)

On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eleven Zouaves a-guarding (But no handsome ones :-[ )
Ten Virginia reels a-reeling,
Nine hoops a-hooping, (Biiig skirts!)
Eight buglers bugling,
Seven pairs of cotton stockings,
Six foraged hens,
Fiiiiiive crotchless underwear, (Yup - ulterior motives!)
Four pounds of salt pork,
Three hardtack crackers, (Cheap and tacky!)
Two corset covers,
And a shelter tent beneath a tree.

One last time, altogether now, and with gusto:
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Twelve Union Cavalry Charges, (Successful, of course.)
Eleven Zouaves a-guarding, (Love those pretty red britches!)
Ten Viginia reels a-reeling, (Now I'm the one reeling.)
Nine hoops a-hooping, (How do I sit down in these things?!?)
Eight buglers bugling (What, no drums?)
Seven pairs of cotton stockings, (No nail polish -- can't farb things up here!)
Six foraged hens, (All stringy roosters and no eggs.)
Fiiiiiiiiive crothchless drawers (Gasp, gasp.)
Four pounds of salt pork (Ugh. I'm really getting tired of this stuff!)
Three hardtack crackers, (Really, really cheap!)
Two corset covers, (Like, where's my corset?)
And a shelter tent beneath a tree...(Lots of bird poop now but no darn brass!)