Top 14 ways that America On Line Would Have Changed the War

14. General "Firewall" Jackson

13. "Muskets for Dummies"

12. Improved Rebel search engine: "YAHOOOOO.com"

11. Worthless Confederate dollars replaced by worthless AOL Visa Cards

10. Instead of fighting constantly, the soldiers would have had to stop periodically to make sure that they hadn't been logged off for inactivity

9. Corporate Sponsorship

8. The Mason-Dixon T1 line

7. A lot less bloodshed involved when "brother spams against brother"

6. Instead of bland "blue" or "gray," uniforms available in 256 colors

5. Cannons traded in for less dangerous, but equally annoying mail bombs

4. Sherman could have simply flamed Atlanta into submission

3. Using Member Directory to get more accurate troop counts

2. Rebel yell now in convenient .wav format

And the number ONE improvement that AOL would have made on the Civil War:

1. Battlefields (chatrooms) could only hold 23 people at a time