A Civil War April Fool's Day Letter

by Private William W. White of the 18th Georgia

Camp Wigfall, Thirteen Hundred Miles From Any Place,

April, the one, 1800 & awful cold

Good Morning "Plug Ugly"

Your loving Epistle in which you vented all your spleen and heaped upon me all the base cognomens of which your ninny-head was master reached me... I had hoped and prayed that when I entered the army... our associations would there be sundered... but it seems in that I am disappointed, for no sooner did you learn my whereabouts than you favored me with one of your soul-stirring, love-reviving, gizzard-splitting productions... But you, Thomas, like all long-eared animules would not stick to one side... You need not blame me for not writing to you... (for) there is a little Blue-eyed Beauty in Georgia who writes to me every week and it consumes nearly all of my spare moments to answer her sweet and interesting letters; however, I expect to see you again in about fifty years provided I should live that long, and then I will tell you enough lies to last you one season... Give my respects... to all inquiring friends and my wool-dyed, double and twisted love to the girls.