Living near a Civil War buff can be a real problem sometimes... - Jonah

DEAR ABBY: This is a weird problem, but I am stumped. My husband and I returned from our vacation to find that our across-the-street neighbor had mounted a cannon in his front yard!

This monstrous metal relic, set in concrete, is aimed directly at our house. When we sit on the front porch, all I can see is that ugly weapon trained on our front door, and it makes me nervous. I went over there and told that neighbor that his cannon was making me very uncomfortable, but he just laughed and said he thought it was an interesting piece of art and I had nothing to worry about because the cannon wasn't loaded.

My husband keeps telling me to relax - the cannon is harmless and hasn't been fired since the Civil War, but I'm not convinced. What do you suggest?


DEAR IN: To put your mind at ease and your fears to rest, call your local police department and ask to have an arms expert sent to examine your neighbor's cannon. The expert will examine the cannon to make sure that the firing mechanism is inoperative. And since your neighbor assured you that the cannon was harmless, he should have no objections to an expert's examining it to confirm the fact.