ARMY OF THE POTOMAC ENEMY #1: "SUPER REB"
Born on the planet Cornbred which tragically exploded under mysterious circumstances,
Super Reb was rocketed to earth by his father Sorr-El, a great Cornbredian scientist. The rocket
landed in Smyrna, GA in 1830, and Little Sorr-El was adopted by kindly Edmund Ruffin, and
raised in the ways of nullification and secession.
As a child, Little Sorr-El quickly discovered amazing new super powers: heat vision, allowing him to cook up a mess of bacon without a camp fire; invulnerability, allowing him to swallow down the bacon and sizzling grease with glee (making him the only Reb capable of defying Captain Cholesterol with utter abandon); X-ray vision, allowing Super Reb to ascertain whether or not ladies in camp are wearing authentic underwear; flying ability, which enables him to defy Prof. Lowe's observation balloons and super strength, which Super Reb uses to untwist railroad track that Uncle Billy Sherman tries to render useless. As the illustration indicates, Super Reb is also capable of emitting a blinding shower of sparks.
The only known substance that can cause Super Reb harm is soap, fragments of which were flung to earth when the planet Cornbred exploded. Any contact with soap will cause Super Reb to become clean, weak and eventually die. Be on the lookout for this enemy of Union, and do not attempt to confront him without soap! (NOTE: Books and formal educations also seem to be effective in bringing Super Reb to bay, and the fact that a majority of the Army of the Potomac can read and write has been the only thing keeping it from destruction at the hands of Super Reb.)
