The Battle of the Oranges




Italians are crazy, that's all there is to it. (I can state this with authority since my mother-in-law is Italian.) To prove it I submit "The Battle of the Oranges," an absolutely idiotic reenactment of something or another that goes on every year in Ivrea, Italy. Photographic evidence is shown above. Basically, what happens here is that the people in the township all turn out to pummel one another with fruit.

The only worse thing I've ever read about is the annual Philippine Good Friday crucifixion reenactments.

We American reenactors may indulge in a good-natured corn-throwing at an Antietam reenactment every now and then, but these idiotic dagoes pelt each other with oranges. I rest my case.

By the way, this was only part of the so-called "Radical and Extreme Hobbies website," now defunct. It's probably just as well, because a careful reading of the features in it provided evidence for a further indictment against humanity (if another was needed). If you ever question the sanity of taking part in a Civil War reenactment, you can at least take comfort in knowing that the activity probably won't result in the traumatic amputation of both legs, as was the case with Doug Rose and his jet-powered car slamming into a wall, described on the site.

The website also resulted in my discovery of the best-ever intro line:

"Hi, my name is "Turds"; can I offer you guys a beer?"

As described in the article, Turds later detonated lots of explosives to hilarious effect.