Paul Rogers' View of Reenacting
I wonder why folks think me mentally wobbly?
Is it the guns, the fighting, the drill in the sun?
Odd - I always thought this was all sort of fun!
The Civil War interests me; for its history I'm serious,
Friends claim my wool uniform has made me delirious!
It's a fantastic hobby, though, I wouldn't trade it for nothin'
Except for a girlfriend and some nice, quiet lovin'.
Infantry's my impression, I portray a "Damn Yankee."
It's over this point that the Hodads get cranky.
"Surrender, Hell! - I'm unreconstructed!" they cry,
With a glance at their cardboard kepis I crumple and sigh.
Mal Stylo's our man; it's him we depend on,
For without him Chancellors would've been Armageddon.
The Rebels intended to rip our flag to shreds,
Thank God Mal was there to cave in their heads!
Hoot n' Huzzah! There's nothing to fear;
Save armed Confederates, minds addled with beer!
We're in the field now, our muskets bang hard.
"Who the hell's that won't die?! Th' old tub of lard!"
'Tis but Jabba the Hutt, 400 pounds and impervious to pain,
Who, when in camp, shelters ten men from rain!
He's a regular Rambo, pursuing combat quite bravely,
It's obvious to us this guy's dismounted cavalry!
Here's to safety hazards: to one and to all!
To a Secesh M-80 I someday must fall.
Bayonets pokin'- ramrods a flyin'
Disclaimers and wills I'm always a-signin'!
The cannons cough. The muskets do roar.
Real bullets were used?! Alas! Reenacting no more!
Front and center, Bugler, blow a tune on your horn,
Come on now brothers, let's all be reborn!
Collar those rednecks and put corks on their knives,
To those drunken yahoos, we'll not lose our lives!
Get rid of the drugs and the rock and roll tunes,
Let's break out the banjo and the good, old-time spoons!
We're in this hobby to have a good time,
So ditch all the politics, the backstab, the whine!
We're short on this earth, our days aren't long,
So let's all get together and make our friendship real strong!
The wars' been over for a hundred-twenty-five years,
But for a perspective on life, reenacting gets me in gear.
It's true, North and South, we're together again,
I just wish everyone could learn to be friends.
Manassas, Antietam, Spotsylvania, The Crater,
Thanks to this hobby I love peace all the greater!
