Thanks to Tony Horwitz, the Wall Street Journal and Rob Hodge (click here to see what I'm talking about), button-pissing - the practice of urinating on uniform brass buttons to add what is regarded as an authentic patina finish - has turned into a well-known reenacting cultural reference. Hardcores are occasionally called "button-pissers," and Chef Enoch mentioned that he once inadvertently patinaed a button or two during his drinking days. In fact, if I keep seeing references to this phrase I intend to add an entirely new section to JonahWorld!: "Button Pissing."

These are the lyrics to a song by a reenactor musician (of sorts) named "Farby." I don't know a whole lot about him other than by listening to his lyrics on two cassettes of songs a fellow sent me, but he certainly has a way with words (most of them unprintable). It's difficult to describe this particular song musically. The beat can only be described as plodding, and Farby takes special care to emphasize the word "crap" in each chorus. He must have had a blast with it.

The truly odd thing about this button-pissing phenomena is that it's probably unneeded. If one is trying to look like a soldier from 1862 or so, one wouldn't be wearing uniform buttons that looked antique. While they wouldn't be shiny bright, they'd look somewhat new, wouldn't they?

Anyway, in another song, Farby uses a phrase I introduced, "Tubby Bearded Guys." Thanks, Farby, and happy pissing! - Jonah

Piss On Your Buttons

by "Farby"

Chorus: Piss on your buttons
Crap on your shoe,
If you want to be the authentic man in blue.

Death march for my bank account.
Nonetheless, Outfitted to the hilt,
Fashion nicely dressed.

Smart guy has a wise idea,
I'm impressed.
Bludgeon your investment,
So you look real, I guess.

CHORUS

Feed your trousers to the moth,
Oh, never, wash your blouse.
Leave your rifle in the rain,
And hygiene's disallowed.

Throw bricks at your canteen,
Drag your trunk behind your car.
Put larvae in your munitions box,
And booger your cigar.

CHORUS

Sometimes these editorials,
are really off the wall.
If these ingrates got their way,
They'd be marching in the raw.

CHORUS

By the way, by clicking here you can read Mrs. Jonah Begone's opinion of button pissing.