When I Was a Farb

By Celia Mater

Tune: "When I Was a Lad" (from H.M.S. Pinafore)

1.

When I was a Farb I wore a snood.

I thought if others wore it, then it must be good.

Cigarette at my lips, and a thrift-store shirt,

And I sewed up some fabric for a new camp skirt.

ECHO:

"She sewed up some fabric for a new camp skirt."

But now I do my research most carefully

And my clothes are the height of authenticity.

(Echo)

But now I do my research most carefully

And my clothes are the height of authenticity.

2.

When I was a Farb I wore a sports bra.

I gave not a thought to that the 'taters saw.

I bounced as I walked (I must have been a sight!)

And I wondered why my ballgown would not fit right.

(ECHO line)

"Yes, she wondered why her ballgown would not fit right."

THEN...

I fitted my corset so carefully

That my figure is the height of authenticity.

ECHO:

I fitted my corset so carefully

That my figure is the height of authenticity.

3.

When I was a Farb, I wore wide hoops.

When the wind blew my skirts up, I cried out "Whoops!"

That Scarlett wore 'em--was enough for me

And I didn't care a fig for authenticity.

(ECHO line)

"Yes, she didn't care a fig for authenticity."

BUT.....THEN...

I corded my petticoat so carefully

That now it is the height of authenticity.

(echo)

I corded my petticoat so carefully

That now it is the height of authenticity.

4.

When I was a Farb, movie glamour was my tune.

I wore my ballgown morning, night, and noon.

I piled on makeup--'twas the face from Hell--

And I thought every woman had to be a belle.

(ECHO line--"Yes, she thought every woman had to be a belle.")

BUT....

NOW....

I know what garb is proper to the time of day

And now I'm at the height of authenticity.

(Echo)

I know what garb is proper to the time of day

And now I'm at the height of authenticity.