Anti-New Zealand Jokes






Why do people tend to hate New Zealand Rugby players on sight?

Because it saves time.




Graham Henry takes the All Blacks out for a training run and first up he tells everyone to assume their normal position. So they all go and stand behind they goalposts and wait for the conversion.



Once, a long time ago, there was an All Blacks tour of Australia. 

During their stay in Brisbane, one of the players had a fairly torrid affair with a local lass. The team moved on, the girl stayed behind, and the whole thing was eventually forgotten about.

Four years later, the same player returns back to Oz with another All Blacks touring side. They are in Brisbane, and who should he see walking down the street but his lover with a small child! He runs up to her and greets her, and asks if the child is his. "Yes", she says, "it is." "But why didn't you tell me?" he asked plaintively. "Well" 

she said, "after I found out I was pregnant, I invited all the members of my family together for a discussion on the matter - my grandparents, my parents, my uncles, aunts and cousins. And we all came to the same conclusion: we would rather that it was a bastard than have an All Black for a father".




A New Zealand schoolteacher explains to her class that she is an All Blacks  fan.  She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are All Blacks fans.  Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not an All Blacks fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not an All Blacks fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am a Wallabies fan, and proud of it," Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears.  "Janie, why are you a Wallabies fan?" "Because my mum is a Wallabies fan, and my dad is a Wallabies fan, so I'm a Wallabies fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Wallabies fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum were a moron and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?" "Then," 

Janie smiled, "I'd be an All Blacks fan."




The All Blacks rugby practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach immediately suspends practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, investigating forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the try line. Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.



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