Do You Coach Soccer?


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We recently launched a new training resource for soccer coaches and asked some of our rugby members the question: "Do You Coach Soccer?"


We got some interesting responses!


Though we don't necessarily agree with the all the comments, and many are "tongue in cheek", some of them generated some laughter here in the office. So I thought I'd share them with you.


By the way, if you are offended by "rude" words, please do not read any further.


Here are some of the answers to our question, with the author's names removed to avoid reprisals from the soccer community.



"No, it's a rubbish game played by girls"


"Afraid not - once an egg chaser, always an egg chaser."


"That's the game with the round ball isn't it?"


"We call soccer "Wendy Ball" at the club. Great game actually, followed and played all my life"


"Coach soccer? No thanks - I think red hot needles into my eyes would be preferable to dealing with the nasty nylon kit, cheating and temper tantrums"


"If there is one thing I can't stand in this world it is soccer. I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in wasting my time watching a pack of fairies kicking a ball around and watching 0-0 results after 90 minutes. I don't want their cheque books, their lifestyles or even the smelly old trouts they parade around as Footballers Wives. I am not of the opinion that a man should have long hair, and a pony tail is worse, let alone earrings and waxed legs. Maybe I do have a problem with trying to find my more sensitive side but I was bought up on a dairy farm in New Zealand in the 70s & 80s and we shagged Sheilas and sheep, drank piss and worked hard and played harder - so I guess you know where you can stick any mention of that faggot sport they call soccer. Please take this as a no and have a most wonderful day."


"No, never played or coached soccer (old fashioned prop forward me, broad back, huge bum and no legs, but mum loved me)."


"Thanks Andy, but "S***" is a banned word in my house"


"Thanks for the thought, but I have enough trouble with my little rugby darlings without dealing with football hooligans."


"No thank you Andy. I am a one-dimensional fanatic. Rugby and rugby."


"NO!!! - Can't stand the game!!!!"


"Could not possibly admit to that"


"No, I coach Gaelic Football. Pity you don't do Smart Sessions for Gaelic."


"I coach soccer, rugby, lacrosse, ice hockey, and field hockey. Hmm, two kids, nothing else left to coach."


"Soccer.................what's that?"


"Sod off"



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