Clive, John and God.

Clive Woodward (coach of the English rugby team) and John Hart (coach of the New Zealand rugby team) both die and enter the Pearly Gates. God takes Clive on a tour of heaven and ends up at a little two-bedroom bungalow with a faded English rugby banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your house, Clive," says God, "You're very lucky. Most people don't get their own houses up here, you know." Clive looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the huge mansion on top of the hill. A massive, multi-storey affair with white marble columns, balconies and attractive gardens, All Black banners line both sides of the footpath and a huge New Zealand flag hangs between the marble columns. "Thanks for the house, God," says Clive, "But let me ask you a question. How come I get this little two-bedroom bungalow and John Hart gets a huge mansion with all those marble columns and things." God looks at him seriously for a moment. "That's not Hart's house," God says. "That's my house."