More Rugby Positions

(I found this in the Meraloma Rugby newsletter - November 1997. - Wes)

A complete unbiased look at the different rugby positions:

The Pack: Eight handsome burly guys whom you'd want to marry your daughter. They are intelligent, elegant, sensitive and sweet. Truly the ideal men.

The Backs: Seven guys who will take advantage of your womenfolk, and all tubular household objects. Often dine on quiche, brie and wine. Regularly take blow dryers on road trips and wear bikini underpants.

Prop: Short but stout, these strapping men support the hooker, but no money ever changes hands and the act is never specifically named.

Hooker: Often identified by a balding spot atop the head, these vertically-challenged but talented men stand between the two props and secure the ball for their team during scrummages.

Second Row: These tall powerful men are the driving engines not only of the scrum, but of the entire game. They can be found working their magic from deep in the scrum, behind the front row, or lofting high above the line outs pulling balls from the air.

The Back Row: Usually the most handsome and intelligent, these three men of stamina and strength are often considered the Renaissance men of the rugby field. They not only control ball, but the entire pitch. Remember, the back row defines the whole team's style of play. "They are the game."

Scrum Half: The point guard of the rugby team, the scrumhalf distributes the ball, runs hits and kicks. The scrumhalf is only half as handsome and burly as the pack members.

Fly Half: The first of those back guys, and the first of the offensive chain. Often confused with an insect, may be referred to as the man with "the foot."

Centers: Another pair of those back guys. Either power runner or annoying scampering guy usually found in the opposite order, but whose only purpose is to get the ball to the wing.

Wings: Ideally the fastest men on the team. Their job is to "score with the ball," but they often confuse it with "get tackled with the ball." Also an excellent snack when smothered in hot sauce and deep fried.

Fullback: The last line of defense. A back even the pack can appreciate, often viewed as a back row in the larval stage.