From A Book of Country Things by Barrows Mussey as told by Walter Needham:

From what you hear nowadays, you might think that an old Yankee farmer like Grandpa would be a great hand for prayers and churchgoing. He did get a lot of fun out of church, but it wasn't from attending, because he never did.

Just once I remember of his going to a prayer meeting; the leading spirit was a spinster lady. He went to sleep during the services. After the meeting people begun to leave, and the stirring around woke him up, and this old maid asked him if he had got right with Jesus. He kind of smothered a yawn, and told her, "Jesus? I don't know as I ever had any trouble with Him."

On the other hand he always read the Bible every night. He could quote book, chapter, and verse on almost any subject. I never knew just why he had such a craze for the Bible, but maybe it was to help him in his great hobby.

His chief entertainment was to bother some young minister and get him turned around. As soon as the minister would say anything, Gramp would jump on him with a quotation from the Bible. He used to refrain from going to every church in Dummerston, Putney, Brattleboro, Guilford, and Vernon, but he did love to meet the new minister. It was rather a shock to Grandmother, because she was a very stiffbacked Puritan Christian woman, and his talk used to kind of get her riled up. But she never said much about it, because there wasn't no use, it would just provoke him all the more. I think eventually she must have learned it was time for her to leave the room if she couldn't get the minister out before Grandpa asked whether the parson really believed that Jonah swallowed the whale.

Invariably the minister would say, "Why, of course. Scripture tells us so."

And then Gramp would look disgusted, and say, "Well, you must be a damn fool. No man could eat a whale."