All persons, upon entering Military Service and upon
reenlistment, are required to take the Oath of Enlistment. At one time, the
Oath of Enlistment was the same for all services. Due to changes in both
society and the differing Military Branches, the Oath has undergone marked
change and has been specifically tailored to each branch of the Military and their
specific function. Here are the latest versions of the Oath of Enlistment as
recently released by the Joint Chiefs of Staff:
US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I,
(State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES
AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines
frighten me, and because I am afraid of water over waist-deep. I swear to sit
behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to
defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk
around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy
the other services.
I
will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times,
be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of
"Basic Training," I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, Lazy-Boy
sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, chair-borne Ranger. I will believe I am
superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before
stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go
home early every day. So Help Me God!"
____________________
Signature
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Date
US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I,
Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY
because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air
Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me
because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my
trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing
straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a
date.
I
will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my
Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see
is a court-martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will
make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I
scored perfect on my PT test.
After
completion of my Sexual.....er.....I mean "Basic Training," I will
attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I
did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp, I will walk around like
I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home
because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy.
Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at
work I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing
accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hrs because of morning PT
and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to "COMPANY."
I
understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a
job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends
from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000
for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement
exam. So Help Me God!"
_____________________
Signature
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Date
US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I,
Top Gun, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to
the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without
actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too
"corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the
Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?"
I
promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have
my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants I own. I understand
that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer, and for Nazi
Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the
rest of the English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead,
cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean
"floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet."
I
will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia,
and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the
other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I
will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 every morning unless I am buddy-buddy
with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930.
I
vow to hone my coffee cup-handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a
kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent
to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I
realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to
the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound
"colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!"
______________________
Signature
______________________
Date
US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
"I, (pick a name the police won't recognize), swear..uhhhh....high-and-tight.... grunt... cammies....kill.... fix bayonets....charge....slash....dig....burn....blow up....ugh...Air Force women....beer.....sailors wives.....air strikes....yes SIR!....whiskey....liberty call....salute....Ooorah Gunny....grenades...women....OORAH!
So
Help Me Chesty PULLER!"
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